


Acceptance

by weeping_cloud



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Acceptance, Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Coming Out, Married Couple, Nonbinary Character, Other, Waffles, sex is briefly mentioned but they don't do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:22:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26147869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weeping_cloud/pseuds/weeping_cloud
Summary: Lukas has a secret.
Relationships: Denmark/Norway (Hetalia)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 32





	Acceptance

**Author's Note:**

> As a nonbinary person myself, I felt it was important to publish this. Hopefully, if you're scared to come out, this will help you feel better about it- it isn't always going to turn out badly. 
> 
> Little heads up: I switched the pronouns from male to gender neutral near the end. Since the story is third person limited to Matthias, he wouldn't have known the proper pronouns to use for Lukas until then, so I did that on purpose.

The raw scent of millions of unopened adventures greeted Matthias Køhler every morning that he walked in the store.

Many preferred peach or pine air fresheners or perfumes that made people sneeze, but Matthias loved when the air was perfumed by the scent of books new and old. He adored the fragrance of the bookstore, it was something he held near and dear. The other people didn't care, they just walked into the store without caring. They didn't stop to appreciate the lovely smell of books, stop to feel the air that was filled with mystery and fantasy. Perhaps they wouldn't even be able to sense it if they tried. As far as Matthias knew, none of them could.

Only one other person that he knew appreciated the sanctity of the store, and that was his husband, Lukas.

Lukas was beautiful to Matthias, and as he thought about him he was shelving books. He felt the door open behind him, felt the cold winter air blowing inside the warm bookstore, and moments later felt arms curling around his waist. His thoughts had summoned the man of his affections, so it seemed.

"Hei, Matthias," a gentle, incredibly deep voice said from behind him. He felt cold lips pressing to the back of his neck, silky hair brushing his shoulders. Matthias turned around to see his husband (of course) behind him, and the smile that was already on the Dane's lips grew.

"Hey yourself, beautiful," Matthias chuckled. He set the last book in its place on the shelf and turned around once again to hug Lukas.

The Norwegian returned the hug, nuzzling his face in Matthias' neck and pressing a few more kisses there before pulling back again. Today his long, nearly-white blonde hair was pulled back in a braided bun, part of his bangs clipped behind his ear with a cross clip. Matthias wondered why he was letting his hair grow so long momentarily, but shook the thought out of his head. "Sorry I'm late, Timo called."

Knowing how much Lukas' cousin talked, Matthias nodded in understanding and Lukas let go of him, walking away to get his name tag from behind the counter. Thankfully, nobody was in the store yet, so they could shelve books together, which was a pastime both of them enjoyed doing together. Sometimes they'd have small contests to see who could shelve the most books in a certain amount of time, and afterwards no matter who won, Matthias would always parade Lukas around the store on his shoulders.

But not today. They shelved the books in silence, a comfortable silence that was warm and nice to be surrounded by. Lukas would occasionally start to hum and break the silence.

Finally, after shelving three stacks of books, the door opened again and their first customer of the day walked inside.

*

That night, after they closed up, they went upstairs to their apartment. It was snowing outside, pure white flakes drifting to the ground and knitting themselves into white blankets that covered everything and still more. Some of the flakes were caught in Lukas' long lashes and dusted his hair. Matthias thought it made him more beautiful, like he had diamonds in his hair.

He kissed Lukas under the moon, under the clouds crying their slow, frozen tears. Afterwards, Lukas pulled away and held the Dane's hand, pulling him upstairs.

They quietly ate dinner together. Nearly everything they did was quiet, but they were quiet only because they wanted to save their best words for the world to hear.

"Luka," Matthias murmured when he finished his meal and put the dishes in the dishwasher. Lukas hummed in response. "Can you let your hair down?"

"Oh." The sound of hair undoing and falling down Lukas' shoulders.

The Dane smiled at his husband and ran his fingers gently through the white-blonde waves. Lukas smiled slightly in return. The smile on his lips was mysterious and barely there. He'd never smiled with all of his pearly white teeth. "Why have you let your hair grow so long?" Matthias asked, as they walked to the couch, and Lukas turned on a movie.

Lukas didn't reply, instead his lips pursed and he shook his head ever so slightly. Matthias decided to leave it at that.

*

The next morning, they woke up together on the sofa and Matthias scooped Lukas in his arms, pulling him closer since he'd fallen out of his arms sometime during the night. They had the day off; the store was closed on weekends. The Dane looked down at his beautiful Norwegian and kissed him.

"Mat..?" Lukas asked softly, voice riddled with sleep and drowsiness. He opened his dark eyes a crack to peer at his husband. "Time..."

Matthias turned and looked over the back of the couch, craning his neck so he could see the time on the microwave clock. It was only seven in the morning. He notified Lukas of this, and Lukas muttered something about it being too bright. He closed his eyes again, yawning softly. Matthias picked him up (as Lukas wasn't very heavy) and carried him to their bedroom, closing the blinds and the drapes. Lukas was tiny in the large bed, and he opened his eyes to look at Matthias again. He looked lost. Matthias got into bed with him and spooned him, nuzzling the back of his neck after pushing the long blonde hair aside. But Lukas turned a few seconds later and kissed Matthias on the mouth, his eyes falling shut again. He wrapped his arms around the Dane's shoulders and pulled back before kissing him and kissing him and kissing him, and Matthias' brain whirled in circles and spirals and up and down in a washing machine.

Yet that was all Lukas let Matthias have that morning. When Matthias' fingers played at the hem of Lukas' shirt, the Norwegian abruptly pulled away, grabbing Matthias' wrists and gently pushing his hands away.

Giving Lukas a concerned look, Matthias instead intertwined their fingers and bit his lip. "You okay?" Lukas nodded and closed his eyes, before squeezing Matthias' hands gently. His mouth twitched and the other could see a glimmer of a tear at the corner of Lukas' right eye. Matthias wiped the tear away. "Nej, you're not..."

"I just don't know why," Lukas murmured back softly, before letting go of Matthias' hands and curling up next to him. He shifted away from the arms that had moved to wrap around his waist, and Matthias sighed, moving a little closer so just their shoulders touched. He listened as Lukas' breathing calmed before slowing down even more as the Norwegian fell asleep.

Matthias wasn't quite sure, but that had been happening a lot lately. It was beginning to worry him.

*

They woke up again a little while later, and Lukas' eyes were still closed. His pale golden hair was pooled on the pillow, and Matthias sat up a bit, just so he could look over his husband's lovely being.

Lukas' eyelids fluttered but did not open. Matthias kissed his forehead.

"What time is it now?" Lukas questioned lazily, turning his head on the pillow. "We should get up soon.."

Matthias rolled over and peered at the small alarm clock. "It's past eleven." He yawned and stretched out his legs, and once he heard them crack, his sighed in satisfaction. He turned back over to see Lukas, eyes open, finally looking at him. "What's up?" The Dane questioned, raising his eyebrows.

Lukas sighed. "Nothing, I suppose." He rubbed his eyes gently before sitting up, stretching his arms and his legs in the process.

His shirt buttons had slipped out of their holes overnight, showing off the soft skin of his chest. Matthias reached over and buttoned them back up, and Lukas gave him a beautiful smile, a grateful smile that made him look even more lovely than he already did. He pushed his blonde hair from his face and held it together at the back of his head. Matthias grabbed the brush from the nightstand and began to brush it; Lukas had always been self-conscious about his morning bedhead, but Matthias thought it made him even more cute.

He hummed softly as he brushed, and Lukas closed his eyes, the small smile still on his lips. "What do you want for breakfast?" Matthias asked, once he was done brushing. His chin rested on the Norwegian's shoulder.

Lukas thought for a moment, before leaning back against Matthias' chest. "Anri made waffles yesterday," he murmured.

"Anri always makes waffles," Matthias chuckled. "That's her job."

"But the waffles she made yesterday smelled delicious. Can we go to her place?"

Nodding, Matthias lifted his chin from Lukas' shoulder and grinned. "Let's get ready, then."

They both got up out of bed. Lukas put up his hair in a messy bun, before pulling on his clothes that he reserved for days he was off--a big, black sweatshirt, a baggy band t-shirt (both of which looked like tunics), and leggings. Matthias pulled on jeans and a sweater.

They walked downstairs, Lukas checked to make sure the bookstore was locked up, and they walked across the street to their friend's restaurant.

"Hi, Matthias!" A cheery voice called to them as soon as they walked in. Anri rushed up to them, her brown hair tied back with a green scrunchie, her face flushed from heat, and full of excitement. "Who's the lady?" she questioned, tilting her head at Lukas.

"It's-"

"Oh, Lukas!" she cried, rushing over to hug the Norwegian. "Wow, I haven't seen you in so long--the last time I saw you, your hair was at your shoulders!"

Lukas gently pushed the energetic Belgian woman away and nodded slowly. "Mhm...it has been a while. We came over for breakfast."

Matthias tilted his head at Lukas. Really, no snarky comment about her calling him a girl? the Dane thought, furrowing his brows, his smile faltering.

"Ooh, breakfast--I'll get right on it." Anri grinned and pulled out her pen and notebook. "What do you want?"

Lukas rolled his eyes. "Anri, we haven't even sat down yet...much less looked over the menus, but I'll have water." He turned his indigo gaze to Matthias.

"I'll have water, too," Matthias replied, flashing the brunette a sunny smile again. "Thanks, Anri--we'll be sitting down, now."

Anri left them to choose their own table, still smiling, but Matthias' smile quickly turned into a confused frown. Lukas noticed the look directed his way and tilted his head. "Yes?"

"You've been acting weird lately," Matthias replied, furrowing his eyebrows. "You seem different--is everything okay?"

Lukas sat down in a booth near the window, and looked up at Matthias, his indigo eyes narrowed a tad. "What do you mean? I'm fine."

Matthias sat down across from Lukas and shrugged. "You're not letting me hug you or touch you as much, and you're not being your usual snarky self."

Two glasses of water were set down on the table in front of them. The straws had already been unwrapped and set in the water. Matthias picked up his drink, spinning the straw around so that the ice tinkled against the glass. Lukas quietly sipped from his own glass, looking a little glumly at the table, and the Dane set down his drink and set a gentle hand on Lukas' shoulder.

"Is everything okay, Luka?" Matthias asked, his big blue eyes filled with worry. "Really..."

Lukas didn't respond and continued to stare blankly at the table.

*

After all was said and done, Matthias could admit he'd enjoyed breakfast, but he didn't enjoy Lukas' attitude. Lukas was distant almost the entire time, gazing at the designs on the wooden table and out the window, like a bored and sleepy cat.

However, it only took a touch of Anri's hand on Matthias' shoulder and a whisper of something in Matthias' ear, and Lukas' claws had come out. At first, the Dane had been happy to see his husband acting normally, but he noticed the distress in Lukas' eyes and the malice behind the bored tone with which he spoke.

Anri gave them half off their meal, since she had noticed Lukas' off behavior, and gave him a small candy (from the bowl at the front) as he left, his shoulders drooping, his head declined so he could stare at the ground.

As soon as they made it upstairs to their own apartment, Lukas had walked quickly into their room and curled up under the covers in a tight ball.

Matthias made his way into the room and laid down next to Lukas, radiating concern. He gently wrapped his arms around Lukas' elven frame, and Lukas did not pull away.

"M-Mat...?" His voice wavered.

Matthias nodded softly, pulling back a little to look at the Norwegian. He hummed questioningly. "Ja?"

Lukas shook with silent sobs that he would never let his husband hear. "I don't..."

"You don't...?"

Matthias could tell Lukas was trying to keep his emotions under control. Lukas took a deep shuddering breath, wiping his tears and narrowing his eyes. He looked determined now, though his eyes still held within them that melancholy, that turmoil that had been there before.

"I don't want to be a man anymore."

Matthias' eyes flew open wide, and his mouth did, too. "Wait...then what do you want to be?"

The Norwegian's lips were pursed, and they closed their eyes, tears still spilling over and running down their face. "The truth is, I don't know," they muttered, tucking a strand of hair behind their ear. Then they opened their eyes to look back up at Matthias, and their indigo eyes shone like amethysts, diamond tears still running down their face. "But I have to admit that it hurts when someone ’normal’ is flirting with you. It makes me wonder...you always take so much pride in me being your husband. I remember the first day of our honeymoon, you yelled about me being your husband out the window...you were so happy I was your husband. What if I was your..." they thought for a moment, "…nonbinary spouse…? Would you still want to be with me..? Would you rather be with someone normal..?"

Matthias stared at them incredulously, his eyebrows furrowed and lips curved downwards in a confused frown. “...Luka, I don’t care about that sort of thing. I-I mean…” he shook his head hard and facepalmed, before saying, “You...you don’t have to identify as a guy if you don’t want to. You’ll still be the love of my life...you know that. I just wish you’d told me sooner…” 

“I know...I should’ve expected that answer. I knew you weren’t going to throw me aside...but I was still afraid to tell you.” Lukas bit their lip and looked away again. “You understand why I was afraid to tell you, right..?”

Grinning, the Dane nodded. “Course I do, remember how scared I was to ask for your number when we met?” He chuckled at the memory and tightly wrapped his arms around his spouse again, and Lukas started to cry again, except the tears that ran down their face were happy. 

“I hated not letting you touch me, Mat…” Lukas murmured, closing their eyes as their shoulders shook. “I hated it...but I didn’t want-”

Matthias shushed them, spooning them after pulling the sheets and the comforter over their bodies. He nuzzled the back of Lukas’ neck gently, pressing soft kisses there, his face pink. “Your hair is beautiful,” he murmured softly, backing away from Lukas’ neck and running his fingers through their soft blonde hair. “Were you trying out a more feminine look..? It suits you…”

“I was thinking of cutting it,” Lukas replied, wiping their eyes. “But...now I’m not so sure I will…”

Matthias grinned and leaned in to kiss the back of his partner’s neck. “Then don’t.”

Lukas sighed, content at last, and melted into the embrace, feeling nothing but love and acceptance from the most important person in their life.


End file.
